As a little girl my mom was always the the number 1 lady in my life. She is who molded me into the person I am today. Growing up, I used to hear my friends talk about how their moms were their best friends and I was puzzled by this. My mom never told me I was her best friend. I never said she was mine either. Quite the contrary actually, she did tell me she was NOT my best friend on more than one occasion. For years I wondered why me and my mom's relationship wasn't like the other girl's I grew up with?
My mom has always without question been there for me. She doesn't always agree with me and doesn't agree with the decisions I've made, and let me tell you, she's good at voicing at that, but she's always listened to me. My mom is blunt. She doesn't beat around the bush and she doesn't tell me what I want to hear. Which in hindsight I see, is probably some of the fights we may have had. I know that I have carried this trait with me and I see how it causes misunderstanding and sometimes hurt, but unintentionally. My mom has a firey temper and boy did I get that. My mom made sure that us kids had everything we wanted and needed. She was the CEO of our family. She ran that machine like a pro, and sometimes she was both Mother and Father. My dad was a very hard working man, and he worked many hours at a factory and missed out on a lot of school activities, family suppers at the dinner table and other life events because of his hours. But that was his sacrifice so that my mom didn't have to work. He wanted her home taking care of his family. And she did the best job she could.
In my life today, I see how very lonely that must have been for her at times. Out of that, we would spend hours sometimes of an evening, watching our shows, just talking. We would talk about everything. But isn't this what best friends do? My mom took me to buy my first homecoming outfit, and my prom dress, and was there when I went on my first date. My mom was the coolest mom when I was 15! I had just gotten my driver's permit, and she had a giant 1987 Ford Crown Victoria aka "The Squad Car". And every Friday and Saturday night she loaded the car down with all my friends and let me drive...we went cruising. We cruised the mall and the strip in that car. She even let me and my aunt take it out cruising too. I think that deep down my mom had a blast hanging out with all of us too, but she would never admit that out loud.
Me and my mom, like every other mother-daughter relationship out there, have had our battles. In this past year It has hit home what she meant when she told me she wasn't my best friend. And she wasn't. She was my mom. She grew me, she clothed me, she taught me. She taught me to be a good person, to use my manners, to be polite and kind, she took me to church and showed me what it was like to be a good woman of God and to act right in the house of the Lord. No one needed "the look" there! She guided me on boys and tried to warn me. Sometimes us Stogdill/Johnson women are a little hard headed and have to learn the hard way. Sometimes she inserted herself when she should have stayed back, but thats what Moms do. Moms teach and guide and comfort and grow.
My mom isn't a warm fuzzy kind of gal. As a matter of fact, I got that too. Big Chief will be the first to tell you I was a cold Yankee when he met me. We're definitely not huggers and not big on the "love" talk. That has changed for me as well. I know my mom loves me. I know without saying it, she would come in my hour of need. I would probably not say this to her in real life, because she may just stare at me with a blank stare and tell me she doesn't understand these feelings. But my message to my mother this Mother's Day is this:
It isn't said enough, or at all, the life you gave me I appreciate and am grateful. I am beyond blessed to have you as my mother. I learned a lot from you, maybe not cooking, but how to get a stain out white sheets! You were hard on us and strict. You were no nonsense. You taught me how to do right. You gave me memories that will never be replaced. You have been a GREAT Grammy to my children. I am sorry that the life I have, has taken us so far from you at times and the visits have been few and far in between and we have missed out on so much. I am grateful for the phone calls and emails and ways to send videos. I am happy that I finally found a boy to bring home that you approve of! You are not my best friend. You are my mom, and I Love You! Happy Mother's Day, Mom, I hope your day is Fabulous and filled with everything you want!
