Happy New Friends!
I’m back! After a little
Holiday break and soul searching I’ve found my way back to land of blogs. For a minute there I thought I had lost
my way a little bit, but I’ve kind of found a renewed spirit as of lately. I decided this was the year I was going
to rededicate myself to my Husband, as we become best friends again. I want to take more time to enjoy
the little things with my kids that I had taken for granted when I was a stay
at home mom. And really most of
all, I just wanted to be “happy” again.
I think we all fall into that trap at some point where no matter what we
do nothing makes us happy. I
fell deep in the dark twisty place.
So I had one New Year’s Resolution, make time and effort to
be happier and healthier. Well, I
managed to stay away from cheese for about 3 days and then I dove off that
bandwagon with a glass of wine and a vat of nacho cheese!!! So I turned to Yoga. Yoga means I’m getting healthier
spiritually, mentally and physically. I invited my husband to join with me. Now we can knock off be closer, make
time for just us, fall in love all over again…all that Dr. Phil jazz.
I’m officially 3 classes into the Yoga and I have to admit, it’s
not at all what I thought this was going to be. You should know that Jesse (the husband) calls me
Doomsday. I might be slightly
negative from time to time, see the glass empty, dirty and another something
I’m going to have to wash kind of girl.
So for someone like me to walk into the world of hippie oneness love is
a little difficult. And then he
tells me, there will be touching.
Wait, what???
I have to say that our first 2 classes were actually quite
pleasant. I wasn’t twisted into a
pretzel, I didn’t have to put my leg over my head and there was no downward
dog? I did have to perch like a
cat though, and then I started stressing about my yoga pants and whether or not
the guy behind me was judging.
What if he could “see something”?? That was a little hard to get out of mind. And in case you’ve never been to
Yoga, you clear your mind a lot.
Which is also hard for someone like me whose mind is on A.D.D. overload
100% of the time. While everyone
is taking his or her deep breaths and listening to the silence I’m over here
thinking where are we going to eat when this is done?
Tonight was our 3rd night, restorative Yoga. This is where you go and pay someone to
let you take 15-minute naps for an hour on your mom’s blankets she bought in
Cherokee from the little 100-year-old Indian lady. It’s relaxing.
Until your normal teacher isn’t there and you have someone who you cant
even pronounce their name fill in.
All comfort leaves my friend! Now you should know, there are a couple of regulars
we’ve come to notice. And one of
them, he doesn’t like his routine to be messed up. He knows where he wants his mat and where he wants YOU!
We got stuck by him tonight. He’s a heavy breather.
As in deep breaths in…and then a big moan of ARRRHHHH on the way
out. It’s hard to clear your
mind when there’s loud snoring but I try. The instructor decides we should reflect on Martin
Luther King and find a soft place in our hearts and forgive. Forgive our enemies. Awesome, I just said less than 24 hours
ago that I wanted to stab my true enemy of enemies in the back of the head with
a serving fork. This is going to
be hard. So as I sit there
thinking about forgiveness I’m getting mad because my happy place has now been
replaced of thoughts of Satan’s spawn. This is the exact opposite of soft heart and
forgiveness. I try to think of
anything that will relieve these feelings of premeditated murder…and then my
eye catches something as I’m stretching and looking through my legs (which by
the way I haven’t done since high school, YAY ME!). Old man, heavy breather….has 6 toes on each foot. 6 MF’n TOES! That’s it, feelings and now toes. I hate toes.
HATE, me some toes and feet.
I’m trying not to hyperventilate but holy Mother of Deformities. And not just 6 toes, but there a huge
gap in between that separate 3 and 3 and the that extra toe in the middle is
not really a real toe, its like a lil stub. I’m DYING!
Literally feel the breath being pulled from my body. I roll over and look at Jesse,
and try to express my anxiety over the mutated feet behind me and he pretty
much ignores me and goes back to his soft heart and happy place.
I decided I needed to pull myself together and think of
shiny things. For the love of Coco
Chanel why can’t I think of anything???
Finally the instructor pulls us back to our mats and we do a little
chant and its over for the night.
I couldn’t even make eye contact because he would know, judging! After we get back to the car and
settle in to go eat, because you cant have a date without food, Jesse looks
over at me with his pretty blue eyes and says: “I tried to find forgiveness for the terrorists, but I
couldn’t, I still hate the terrorists and want to kill them”. And then I
smiled.
Doomsday Deana has found that I really like Yoga. When I leave I have these really
strange feelings, I think most people call them happiness but seeing as I’m a
pretty negative person unless I’m standing in a Louis Vuitton store draped in
goodness I was slightly confused on what I was feeling. I kinda liked it. I hope this is something Jesse and me
will continue to do. I’m feeding
my stony black heart and soul.
Now, if I could just find a way to make one date night to Tiffany &
Co. I’d be on top of the world.
