Those beautiful blue eyes and that smile made its way to our table and I was in! We even got them to follow us all over town that night. He refused to buy me a drink. He saw no problem letting other random dudes buy my drinks that evening. I found that strange. Probably not nearly as strange as where the conversation would take us that evening. Lies. ALL LIES. There were so many lies told that night. But who thinks that when you're scamming boys out of free drinks and David Allan Coe Karaoke that those lies would come into play later! Things to consider when you check your morals at the door. I think at one point in the evening my name changed at least 4 times and ended with us being Laverne and Shirley. Cause that seemed like a good story at the time. I was only 24 years old that night. (i was 30). He told me he was 22 and was a mechanic (he was 26 and a pilot). Good cause I hated Pilots and Special Forces, you were gonna have to go if you even tried to entertain our table with those crap stories. At some point when we left that evening I had his number, he had mine. He couldn't remember my name, I couldn't remember him. So I saved him as 22 in my phone. Apparently he saved me as "Girl". Well, i was a girl, can't deny that. This comes into play the next time I see him.
We text, we call, we chat. And then I just show up at his house, invited by someone else actually. Oh look, its a big ole party. His Cav Family. I walk in and everyone just stops and stares and he comes out says Hi and then leaves. Just walks off. Um, ok. Well this isn't awkward with the all the staring and Jenna Jameson posters on the walls. So me and the bestie, there we are hiding in a corner deciding what's the respectable amount of time to stay and then sneak out. AND then you hear it..."who's that? oh that's the girl he met at that bar." Awesome, time's up lets roll! Mr. Wonderful appears out of no where around the corner, there's a lady sitting on the couch mean mugging me...I find out later, thats his mom. Great...now I'm the skanky girl who brought her own beer and her bestie to her son's house that apparently he picked up at a bar 4 days before and no one knows anyone's name and I'm being judged. This is working out great. Buh Bye...22.
Some time goes by because at this point there's a holiday approaching. Valentine's Day. So it's funny how our texts seem to be moving right along in friendly chat and he would meet me for lunch some after I was done teaching......BUT our visits seemed to stall for a bit. After February 14 he was back with a vengeance. I see what you did there Big Chief!!! He'll pay for that later in the marriage. We started dating. And when I say we...you don't just date the man in the CAV, nope, you date him and all his Besties. I felt like that scene from Goodfellas, where she talks about how they only went on vacation with the inner circle, birthdays, holidays, it became normal. Yeah, that's what it was. One of his besties even smelled me. Now that may have been a rather peculiar evening, but, I just sat very still like and once he got his fix, we were all good. I guess I passed the test??? We're still close to this day. Funny how that works. I wouldn't trade any of those times or those people for anything in the world.
It wasn't until one night late in the Summer, I was at work and got this call that he needed to know if could come get him from his boat out on the lake. So after my night class was over, i headed out to the lake....over an hour away. And there I find a man all happy. Really happy. Oh Lort, this is gonna hurt. So it takes me another 2 hours to get him off his boat in my car so we can go home. Some of us aren't pilots and rule the world, one of us needs to go to work tomorrow. Now he's hungry. Of course he is. So here's what you should know....no one should ever have a serious conversation about life and goals when they've been on a boat since 8 that morning and partying with their new local Jimmy Buffet wanna be best friends. This was about to get cray cray. And unfortunately for the poor 16 year old girl working the drive-thru at McDonalds that night, she was about to witness the madness. You should never start your conversation with : Damn it woman, what are your intentions with me, where is this going? Cause this is not the answer you're going to like: I'm taking you home to sleep this off, now shut up and what do you want???? I was not prepared for the likes of the spectacle that was coming my way. WHAT??? NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND....I LOVE YOU DEANA RAE, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU....I GOT FRIENDS, I DON'T NEED ANYMORE FRIENDS!! This did not just happen. As we pull up to the window, the girl is just standing there speechless. So I did what I thought was best....No you don't, you're in love with the idea of being in love, shut up, eat your sammich, and enjoy the ride back. Never say "you're in love with the idea of being in love" to a guy who really thinks he's in love and has liquid courage and cheeseburgers in his hand. I finally just said Alright....I really like you too, we have levels, I'm getting there. Because, he's never ever going to remember this conversation the next morning.
Now, this man who I do love who can't remember any conversation, any outfit, any date, any significant event that took place during our courtship....oh he remembers this particular conversation. And he reminds me about it on a surprise vacation for my birthday...that his mother planned....and decides we should get married. He plays it off as a joke, because he couldn't find a chapel in such short planning. I guess he forgot to tell his mom to plan that little event. So once we were back to Woodlawn and I was dropping him off he asked me on his ugly brown couch to marry him, for real. It really was a whirlwind romance. It was crazy on all levels. There wasn't really any one piece of this story that said this was a smart idea. And yet, I couldn't say no to his blue eyes and his smile. I just knew.
We had only dated for a short 8 months. I mean that alone is shorter than the counseling you do before you even get married. The writing is clearly on the wall for this. I mean, our entire relationship was based on lies. We cleared all that up, eventually, ok, we're still kinda clearing up some of those lies to this day. The ones we can remember. We ended up in Louisville for a Cav Reunion and decided why not. 2 weeks after he asked me we went to the Justice of a Peace and said I do. It wasn't the big wedding I know he wanted. We didn't even have our rings until after the ceremony. I'm also just glad that we learned each other's names before the ceremony because that would have been awkward. I almost threw up in the bathroom 2 hours before we went to the Court House. And then, it was done. It was official. I had a moment where I was happy, and I was going, Deana Rae what did you just do?? But then later that evening after our ceremonial Hard Rock Cafe dessert shooters in a shot glass, we went down to the reunion, and he introduced me as his wife. He had his arm around my waist all evening. And that was it. I didn't care anymore, he was the one. It was right.
The next few years, he would be gone fighting the big fight over the big pond and training. Baby Girl came along, and she was a big SURPRISE! Life kicked in. After 5 years of being married through the deployments and the training and the work schedules and his schools, we were together. We had to learn how to be a whole family and how to love each other AND be around each other for more than a few days at a time. He's seen my crazy, I've seen his. He opens the door for me every time. I forget to unlock his side, every time. He still puts his arm around me and calls me "darlin". I love that word, when he says it. His blue eyes still sparkle and his smile melts my heart.
It's been a rough year. The roughest for our family. There's not one place in the world I'd rather be than right by his side. He holds me up. He encourages me. He accepted me and my faults. I've failed over and over. He picked me up. He's my hero. He's a success in his life because of "WHO" he is, not what he is or what he does. He's not perfect, and I don't care. He wipes my tears and makes me laugh. He's a damn man. I feed him and keep him alive. I love him with a love that I didn't know really existed. I didn't know this was real. There are days where I want to punch him in the eye and then snuggle in the manfur and listen to the nonsense he says that's some dumb man gibberish. He changed me. I will forever be grateful that every situation, every relationship, every moment in my life prior to him...lead me to him. This was my rendezvous with destiny! He refused to get me my piece of pottery to mark this year on our journey. I thought a plate with our hand prints would be nice, he said...Damn it woman, I can't afford to pay attention after your birthday-anniversary-mothersday-just because-boots you bought 3 months ago!!!! So today, I'll just take his undying love and soul and an IOU on dinner when Big Army says he can have a night off!
Big Chief....I love you......and today, I won't put sour cream in the potatoes just for you! Nine down.....a lifetime to go!
