By the purchase of 2 big Macho Ferns and a few hey ya’lls I’m
back in the south! Big Chief got
orders and like any good military family we loaded up a U-Haul with our most
prized belongings (My Louis Vuitton and Kate Spade collection), the dog, one
fish in a cup, 2 kids and the TVs to get out of Little Mexico and head towards
to Ft. Rucker, Alabama. Mother
Rucker to the locals, or good ole fashioned America. I’m not saying I hated Texas and all of Texas is bad, I’m
just saying that when I rolled into my new quiet neighborhood with helicopters
buzzing the house I may have gotten out of the car and fell to my knees and
kissed the driveway. Maybe.
We’ve been here a month. We’ve almost settled in. The one thing that has made this transition the success it
has become is the frequent stops to LaBamba for white queso, or fake Mexican
cheese as we call it. No one in
Texas knows of this delightful indulgent cheesy gooey goodness. They are almost offended when you ask
for it. Trust me folks, they have
heated up Tostitos dip and it has nothing on the white queso. And if you’ve never had it, you should
find a place right now or as my awesome mother in law would do…have it shipped to
you on dry ice! When you’re a
frequent mover we have to start all over from scratch every time we move. I’ve managed to find a hair salon on the
first try, God must have felt sorry for me that day and knew I needed some good
luck. I was elated that we
finally had the good grocery store, Publix. Because if you weren’t a bread addict before you shopped
there, you’re a full out bread crack head once you have. I sneak in when they think I’m tanning
to get my own box of French bread and fresh oatmeal raisin cookies. Sure I look a little funny ending up at the check out with an
empty bread bag and cookie box but one day those kids will have their own kids
and know the struggle of just wanting it ALL for yourself, just once!
When in Alabama there are two things we cherish here almost
as much as the bible….Alabama Football that should always be followed by ROLL
TIDE in the loudest voice you have and pork bbq. In 4 weeks we’ve ate at 7 different bbq joints. What? I have to weigh my options you know. Its also come to my attention
that I may be failing in the Southern belle category because as I’ve noticed
this week, I have nothing monogrammed and I’m not wearing maxi skirts. Now, the maxi skirt probably isn’t
going to happen, I realize it’s a staple here but seriously ladies, if your
under 5’3” the only thing that does is chop us off at the knees and when you’re
already the size of a garden gnome, you don’t need your knees chopped off. But the monogram seems to be almost
unforgivable here. It’s
everywhere. Ladies monogram their
purses, totes, shoes, jewelry and even their car windows. I have one necklace with a “D” initial
that is very monogramesque, I fear I won’t be accepted into the club. They will know I’m an outsider.
Baseball hats seem to be a big thing here in the south
too. Boys and girls are wearing
their hats everywhere. Of course
the girl hats are monogrammed and being worn with their maxi skirts and Tory
Burch sandals. Clearly I’m being
sent a message. But the best part
of moving back to the south is being welcomed. Everyone here has been so nice. They introduced themselves and brought wine. Lots of wine. I was shocked the glasses weren’t monogrammed, but that
gives me an idea for when I need to return the favor. We are almost
settled in and planning our festivities.
I just hope I am able to find a monogrammed serving platter and napkins
for the shrimp boil. Maybe
I’ll give away monogrammed koozies!!!
Look at me becoming one with my surroundings!!!!!!
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| Haymarket Koozies |
