On any given day I can see something on TV or the Internet
and realize in that very moment I can’t live with out that item. How I’m not addicted to infomercials is
still a mystery. Because I really need those hot rollers that use steam and that crazy twirling curling iron that makes beach waves, oh and that little grill that will stay lit on 5 pieces of newspaper and twisty tie. And it can be the
most random of things that for whatever reason the dear lord shined his
heavenly light down on and I decided that the world as we know it wouldn’t be
right if I didn’t own it. My
vision came yesterday in a dear friend’s Facebook post. The bible of the internet. It was a Tiffany Blue
cooler. Oh where have you been all
my life? That was it, I
literally went to bed thinking about all the things I could do with this
cooler. And none of these things
involved anything you would naturally do with a cooler. I’m not going to go “yak’n”, or have a
picnic, or take it to the beach, or fish, or well, really do anything at all
outdoors. It’s going on my back
porch. Because you see the Tiffany
Blue cooler would match my new Umbrella for my picnic table. The thin blue stripe in the umbrella
would be most accented with the blue cooler. I mean don’t get me wrong, I can fill the cooler with drinks
while I’m swimming in the pool, but lets be real…I’m decorating with it. AND then it came to me….I could
have the man free hand a white bow and ribbon on it. Now the wheels are turning. How many
pictures could I take of Baby Girl with this? How many pictures could I take of me with this? Or I could just roll up at the next
mandatory Army fun time party with my super cute cooler!!!! YES!!!
 |
| I may have a sickness! |
I found out where this magical wonder could be found and set
out today to go get one. Man oh
man was I excited. I couldn’t
wait. I got my pool supplies and
there it was…sitting there waiting one me. Right there, the angels were singing and I was giddy. And then I saw the price tag. Sweet Audrey Hepburn, what was
thing made out of? I mean
seriously, is this the going rate for coolers now? The square box we fill to the brim with ice and Busch
Lite? My heart sank. I just couldn’t do it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, this girl has
no problem dropping some cash, but I just couldn’t tell myself enough how it
was worth it. I realized
right then and there that the Army just wasn’t fulfilling my needs. Apparently what the Army is telling me
is that, Deana Rae, buy an igloo and paint that sucker!
Those Styrofoam coolers could be easily
painted and you could have a dozen Tiffany Blue coolers stacked like jewelry
boxes. No, I couldn’t. Somehow the sparkle was
gone. And just like that I bought
my chlorine for the pool and left disappointed and my dreams shattered. I never knew my heart could ache
so over a cooler.
I got in the car to head home and on the radio we were
discussing Reese Witherspoon and her life shattering decision to no longer wear
cut off shorts. Gone, out the
window, not gonna do it. She’s
decided since she’s 40 now that she will no longer wear them because they’re
just not appropriate for women of said age. My age. Well, my
age in 2 months ( lets face it girls I'm holding on to 39 to the last minute on
the clock). She wants to be more
polished, with nice shorts with a clean look. That’s swell.
So I’ve lost a cooler today and looking at myself in the mirror, wearing
my new cut off boy jean shorts from ShopBop and my muscle shirt that says, “Fun
Fact, I don’t care”.
Apparently Reese would be mortified of my attire today. I feel ashamed. I also copied a Khloe Kardashian type hairstyle that I was
wearing in 4th grade.
Today is a complete failure.
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| Bye Bye cut offs, tan legs and summer memories, I hate you Reese! |
I’m pretty sure that the only person would be excited by any
of my decisions is Dave Ramsay….for my ability to walk away from the cooler I
didn’t really need but really wanted, the fact that I paid cash for my
inappropriate ensemble and because in my moment of depression I didn’t buy the
Valentino with Jesse’s credit card.
Well, there’s always tomorrow.
