I am convinced that the majority of people with access to the Internet shouldn’t be allowed to post anything. There should be some sort of algorithm for the posts that make you want to slap someone. I firmly believe if those people at Facebook who are hiding all of Glenn Beck’s posts can make that happen then they can say, you know what, we’ve seen you before, you’re stupid, no Posting for You! I see things that I’m ashamed to be a part of the human race sometimes. And then I see things where the kids of parents my age have posted and I want to say, what is wrong with you???? And then I read the military wives pages and I truly know there’s no hope for humanity. It's like society is the Benjamin Buttons of smarts. The older we get the dumber we get. Just remember kids, those people are going to be taking care of us in the home.
As of today here’s a list of my favorite hated Posts and
Posters:
1.
My power is out, what about you?
What if my power is out, does that somehow help in knowing that yours
isn’t on? Do you need some sort of
affirmation that your power truly is out?
I don’t understand this question.
Before the internet, if our power went out, we called the power company,
got a pre-recorded message that in more politically correct terms said, we
know your power is out dumbass, stop calling us, it will come on when we’re
done working on it.
2.
Can you help me coupon?
Ok, what kind of person with 2 working thumbs needs
help couponing? I don’t understand
this. You clip the coupon and use
the coupon, before it expires. It’s
pretty self-explanatory. I’m not
sure you need a coupon posse to go with you or a visual tutorial.
3.
Truth is…………
So this is one the kids made popular. You go onto some random friend’s FB page and you say, “Truth
is…I don’t really know you but would like to know you because I think your
chill and we could have fun together and I think we had 3rd period
together and I really like your girlfriend her eyebrows are really on fleek”. It’s stupid.
You don’t have to start your sentence with “truth is”…because it’s
assumed in an intellectual society that if you strike up a random conversation with someone, it’s coming
from a place of truth.
That’s like me posting…. SO, my lie for today is…. I don’t think your
husband is cheating on you when he never comes home and stays out all night and
you showed up with a naked baby and pregnant demanding to talk to his boss
because you’re mad he doesn’t get home by 3pm in the afternoon to see who’s the
daddy on Maury. Stupid right, of
course it is. Kids today are
dumb.
4.
Is there a Whole Foods here (insert any business
of your choice)???
GOOGLE!! Holy cow, this one here gets me every time. By the time you pulled up the 7 message
boards and typed this question you could have asked Google. It’s crazy, not only will it tell you
if your town has one, you can get a map with directions on how to get there OR
here’s where it gets real crazy…. if there’s not one in your town, they’ll tell
you the nearest location.
MIND BLOWN!! The
moral…. stop asking dumb questions you can easily get the answer to on your
own. Effort, its hard.
5.
My light bulb on my porch blew, what do I
do?
So this one goes out to my military community. We live a life where our spouses are gone a lot. So we have to be mom and dad and do the
man chores a lot. But this
question here almost made me open my Google app to find this particular brain
surgeon and hunt her down and beat her with my ladder. A lot of times military spouses think
that you call the housing office for everything, as if learning to take care of it yourself is a new concept. Can you
imagine when you were at home and your porch light blew, who would mom
call? The fire dept? I mean they do get cats out of
trees. Also in this category, where do I get an air cleaner? Where do you buy a vacuum? (ok, if you have to ask where to buy a vacuum, you shouldn't be allowed electricity at all, you're clearly not smart enough to breathe).
6.
There’s a dead raccoon in my back yard what do I
do with it?
I’m sure she’s related to the
light bulb girl. This one was just
too stupid to even linger on the post, but you should know 15 people responded
and every one of them, were almost as conflicted with this issue as the
original poster. I do believe some
man felt sorry for her and removed the dead carcass. I, along with my 2 best besties would would have just sat there and laughed with an expensive box of wine.
7.
Political posts of any kind.
Nothing says I’m a moron like the
people who respond to these. And I
might just be their Queen because here recently I fell down the rabbit hole and
engaged in one. At first I was
just amused by how passionate people are and then I realized that my character
was being assassinated by complete strangers and I went into defense mode. I learned a lot. I learned that 57 people have probably
never read any part of the US Constitution or been in any sort of history
class. But they blessed my heart a
lot. As if I didn’t know
what that meant!!!! Along with these posters are the ones that automatically just call you names. I was called a Trumpbot. I'm really not sure what that means, but when I asked they blessed my heart and then deleted me from their site. Because there's no such thing as free ideas on any political post, just agree and move on.
8.
The over zealous responder!
Oh now this one here is the one who should have to have a limit on how
many times they can respond to any one poster and any one threat. She doesn’t even need to know the
answer she’s going to post anyway.
She’s the lady that was in your college class that sat up front and
raised her hand and had to answer every question and have an opinion. And then get butt hurt when someone
took a different opinion than her.
She can also be linked to the professional victim as well. I hate her.
9.
Online Peoples Court Lawyers.
These cats are fun. Man they
probably haven’t been in a school setting or had a job in years but they’ll be
the first to quote what the law is.
Because they watched this exact scenario on the People’s Court or Boston Legal. These people kind of fall
in line with the people who are constantly copying and pasting their facts and
truth from Wiki and Snopes.
I’m pretty sure you can’t get a J.D. from either one of these
places.
There
are many more Internet faux pas I have but this list is the top. What are you Internet pet
peeves??????? Be careful though,
the ever-popular grammar Nazis are watching and waiting to pounce!!
